My experience in
school growing up was similar to the neighborhood in which I grew up in inner
city Indianapolis. From kindergarten
through my senior year in high school I attended Indianapolis Public Schools
where I was always a minority. I dealt with some teachers in my classes who
were culturally competent, and those who were not so much. It became clear to
me that teachers who know, understand, and respect different cultures in the
classroom have better interactions with students, which I have strived to
emulate in my own classroom.
This year, I’ve
spent a lot of time diving deep into understanding my own culture, as well as
how my undeserved white privilege, and positionality influence my teaching as
well as students’, community members’ and other educators’ perceptions of me. Because
of my background, and where I grew up, I share similar cultural aspects as my
students despite our different skin colors. I’ve always related well with my
students, and those who look different than me, and it has served me well
working in the community that I do. My background and lived cultural
experiences are a definite benefit, but despite those benefits, it wasn’t until
this year that I truly began to understand more about my own privileges as a
result of my skin color.
Since July of
2012, I’ve been continuously reflecting, trying to pinpoint my own biases and
asking the questions that Beachum and McCray urge urban educators to
self-reflect on. “Why do I believe what I believe? How do my thoughts and
beliefs influence my curriculum and teaching? And what do I need to change in
order to better meet the needs of all of my students?” (2008, p. 325).
Thankfully I have had many opportunities to examine my own personal biases and
to recognize the undeserved privileges that I receive because of my skin color.
I read “Unpacking the Invisible White Knapsack” for the first time as an
undergraduate student at IUPUI and again at National Louis University. It
really had a huge impact on the way that I think about myself as a white
teacher, and helped me to begin to understand the perceptions that my students
and the Austin community members have about me just because of my outward
appearance. Even though many of my experiences are not “typical” for a White
female of my age, and even though most of my experiences are culturally more
similar to those of my Black friends and peers from school growing up, despite
our similarities, I still receive privilege because of the color of my skin.
For
those who don’t receive the same benefits as me because of my skin color,
including my students, their families, and even the other teachers in my
building, I have had to work to prove myself as an educator who is there
teaching with my students’ best interests in mind, and as someone who understands
the importance that culture plays in education. My mentor coached me on my
first courageous conversation that I had with a parent of a student in my
class. She told me, “Be very careful of what you say. Our job is to empower the
parents, and to not talk like we know more about their kid’s best interests
than we do. They want the best for their kid, just like we do. We have to be a
team.” Since then, I’ve had several experiences with parents where we had
conversations and I was prepared to talk to them as a fellow teammate. I’ve had
great success working to mitigate those potential barriers by being extremely
open, honest, and reflective throughout the year with not only myself, but
those in the building I work in, and the community that I serve.
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